Dear Baby Boy,

You, my son, were always meant to be ours. From the beginning of time, God knew that you would be my little boy. He knew that I would be your Mommy. When I think about that, my heart swells and my soul dances because we were created, in part, for each other. I love you, sweet boy.

I wish I could say that the road to you coming into this world has been easy, that you are about to enter a place and a home that is whole and without pain or suffering. That is not our story. You will soon find that while this world has its beauty and splendor, there is a forever home waiting for you that is so much more. While this home is temporary and flawed, that home is eternal and perfect. Someday, my son, we will get to go and be there in the presence of Jesus forever. Until then, God has given us the blessing of you, in this world, and we are so very honored.

Heaven means more to our family than it ever did before because there is a special little girl there, waiting for us. I can’t wait for you to meet her, for you to meet your sister. Baby Boy, this is Kamri Blaire… she’s your big sister and she loves you so much.

Maybe you have already met her… I’m sure she has talked Jesus into letting her play with you and tell you all about us and teach you all of the things that big sisters teach little brothers. I’m also fairly certain that she had her say about how she wanted you to look… like her, of course, according to the pictures we’ve seen.

Your sister is the most brave, strong, smart, and loving person I have ever met. So much of who Daddy and I are is because of Kamri. So much of how we are prepared to love you is because she taught us how. Among so many other things, Kamri taught us what the purest, most incredible love of Jesus looks and feels like.  Someday, we will all get to be together again… you, me, Daddy, Kamri, and Jesus… and it will be beautiful.

Speaking of Daddy, there’s someone I want you to meet…

This is your Dad. He is one of the best people I know and he loves you more than you may ever understand.

Your Daddy is kind and patient and so very selfless. He is strong and wise and dependable. Oh, and he’s fun… you would not believe how much laughter and joy is ahead of you with your Dad. Kamri ADORED your Daddy and I know she has already told you how much you will too.

Oh, my sweet boy, there are so many things we are feeling as we prepare for you. There is so much joy and hope, but there is also sadness and fear. Sometimes we worry if we are going to be enough for you… I guess that’s normal for parents, but I want so badly to be a good Mommy to you. Sometimes I worry that I am too broken, that I am going to hurt you in some way. Daddy and I are going to make countless mistakes along the way, but I can promise you one thing… we will love and fight for you fiercely, son.

There is nothing in this world that will come between how much we love you. It is a love so deep that it consumes us. When I think about you, son, my heart swells with a love that is so encompassing, it takes my breath away.

I can’t wait to meet you. I can’t wait to see what you look like. Will you look like Daddy? Will you look like me? And oh, my heart, will you look like Kamri? To be able to see glimpses of her in you will be the greatest treasure I could ever ask for. My beautiful babies.

What will you be like? Will you cry right away? I have to warn you… if you do, Daddy and I will just crumble and sob as we soak in the beauty of that sound. Will you blow bubbles? Will you have funny toes like Daddy and Kam? Will you be sassy like your big sister? Did she teach you how to do her scrunchy face? What are you going to teach us? What things are we going to experience that are all your own, special to you? Oh, my sweet boy, I can’t wait to learn all about who you are and who God created you to be.

You, my son, are a miracle. You are loved and anticipated by so many. Mommy loves you. Daddy loves you. Kamri loves you. And Jesus loves you so much.

Love, Mommy