How to Throw a Bridal Shower (and Survive to Tell the Tale)

WOW. It’s been a week. Full of fun and games, but guys- I’m exhausted. So we’re going to wrap up the fiesta and bring the party train back to the station (at least for now- the wedding’s in June you know). Consider this post the final present to be opened. The last advice card to be written. Or better yet, the clean up crew. 🙂

Since we learned so much along the way, I figured it would be fun to share the goods. And if you have anything to add from adventures that you’ve had in planning parties, PLEASE feel free to post them in the comments below and let’s have ourselves a good ‘ole fashion idea swap! If you have no idea what we’re talking about, check out this post, this post, and this post to watch Summer’s big celebration unfold.

TIP #1: To surprise or not to surprise? Decide early if the bride (or couple) will be in-the-know or if you’re going to shoot for a surprise. Let’s just put it out there: BOTH are great and whether or not you decide to keep it secret will not affect the success of the shower. To make this decision, take into consideration the person who you are attempting to surprise. Asking these questions might help:

• Are they comfortable with crowds? While there might be a lot of people at the party, having a large group of people jumping out at you is quite another thing.
• Do they handle flexibility and change-of-plans well? For folks to like to plan and prepare for things, surprises can be difficult.
• Do they have a predictable and consistent schedule?

If the answer to any of these is NO, you might want to reconsider your “surprise” plans. Don’t worry- you won’t be sacrificing even an ounce of party quality. My shower was not a secret- and it was wonderful. I still love looking through photos and remembering all of the lovely people that came to support and the fun games and good food we ate.

The main reason that a surprise party was ruled out immediately is that my work and schedule are anything but consistent. Hardly the 9-5 job, my hours could happen during the day, during the evening, and on weekends at any given time. It would have been a bear to try and plan around that.

TIP #2: Surprises should start EARLY. Ally and I planned a girls’ night with Summer months in advance. This gave us the freedom to casually bring it up and “work together” to find a date that worked for all of us. In reality, Ally and I just corralled Summer into choosing the date that had already been set aside for the shower. Having the freedom of time allowed for the lies to develop organically.

It’s really sick that I just typed that.

TIP #3: Surprises need stories! For a really good surprise, bring everyone on board. Not only did we decide on the date and confirm it with Summer early, but we had a story to back it up and throw her off the track, should she begin to wonder about anything. A few weeks beforehand, Ally “confirmed” our girls’ night date, but slipped in that she might have to duck out early afternoon sometime to get to a birthday party back home for her mom. Granted, she actually did end up going home after the shower, but having that as part of our story made it seem very unlikely that anything big would be happening the morning we went “thrifting”. Which we actually did too. 🙂

Even the maid of honor, Mollie had some tricks up her sleeve! She had been at Summer’s house the weekend before for Easter and mentioned how excited she was to be going to visit a friend the following weekend (of the shower) in DC. And the cherry on top? Mollie’s friend made a point to post a “can’t wait to see you this weekend!” comment on Mollie’s Facebook page, just in case Summer happened to see…. ah, the deceit is plentiful around these parts. Bottom line: Make sure your story is thought through and that all participating parties are in-the-know… except for the bride, of course!

TIP #4: Utilize the bride for inspiration. Chances are, the bride has been thinking about the colors she wants and the styles she likes for the wedding… use these as inspiration for your shower theme! We did our best to make sure the shower reflected who Summer is and the things she loves.

TIP #5: Know your space and group of guests. This one is really important. We knew we were going to be packed to the brim in regards to how many guests were coming and the size of our room. Plan out the seating! Where will guests sit to eat? Will there be tables or will people be eating in their laps? When gift opening starts, does the room need to be re-arranged so that everyone can see? Plan all of this out ahead of time- this will minimize the stress of having to create Plan B and C and D on the spot.

TIP #6: Cut costs by asking for help. We had so many close friends and family offer to bring food that we were able to serve a full meal that didn’t run an individual or small group of people up a million dollars. Because we divided and conquered, we were able to save TONS of money and time that would have otherwise gone to purchasing and preparing food.

TIP #7: Re-think the game plan for the day a few times. And with a few different people, to make sure you’re not missing anything. For example, in the beginning of our planning, we had a couple games that we wanted to play. However, as we got a better idea of the space and amount of people that would be coming, we had to call a few audibles. Let’s just say (and Summer, you should know this) that we had a game involving copius amounts of toilet paper and a wedding dress fashion show. Thank goodness we cut that one because I still cringe at the chaos that would have ensued, had we attempted that with our crowd of 50 and a room that just barely fit us all in one big circle.

TIP #8: Keep things moving! People want to come out and support the bride, but no one wants to be there all day long. We worked really hard to keep the momentum going during the event, especially when it came to opening gifts. If 50 people come to a party and they each bring a gift… that’s a lot of gifts and A LOT of time for people to sit and watch someone open them. So we pushed things along as best as we could. Bridesmaids handed Summer gifts so she would not have to get up to reach them over and over, Mollie sat and recorded what she got, and we had other things happening simultaneously in the interest of multi-tasking. In the end, the shower lasted just under three hours and that was pretty perfect timing considering all of the variables.

TIP #9: Think outside the box. This one goes along with #7. One way we kept things moving was to serve dessert to the guests as they sat and watched Summer open gifts. This wasn’t our original plan, but once we saw how difficult it would have been for 50 people to get up from their seats to visit the dessert table, my mom hatched a brilliant plan- to bring the desserts to them. That way, Summer could keep plowing through those gifts and guests could enjoy dessert without even having to move from their chairs.

TIP #10: Split up the gift opening. If there are a TON of gifts to open (as in our case), give guests an “intermission” by changing it up and doing something in the middle. For us, we chose to do the game. In the end, it was an awesome way to give people a chance to catch a breather from present after present and when Summer got back to it, we had a little burst of energy to finish the other half. Click here to see the game we played.

TIP #11: Test everything! Double check plans with people, test the background music, learn how to operate the thermostat… do all of this BEFORE the party. Thankfully, we got the chance to set up the projector and make sure the video was playing correctly with sound before it was game time and while Summer and guests were busy with presents. It took us about 20 minutes to get it all hooked up and if we had tried to do that in front of everyone for the first time, it would have been a nightmare. In the end, we were able to wheel the projector into the room, quickly turn it on, play the game, and wheel it right back out- no technology troubles.

TIP #12: Have guests address thank you card envelopes. This one was a brilliant idea and I don’t know who of our group thought to do it, but kuddos to you, girls! In addition to having someone record who gave what as Summer opened each gift, there was a table for guests to address envelopes on their way out so that when she goes to write her thank-yous, that part is already taken care of.

TIP #13: If possible, set up a day in advance. We were fortunate enough to be able to arrange and decorate the space the day before the party. This was a huge help in dealing with the “we totally forgot to pick that up!” or “we’re going to need more of that!” situations that came up. The freedom of time allowed us to take care of the last minute details without having to panic.

TIP #14: Ask someone to be the photographer! This one is huge and oh-so-helpful. Our good friend, Christina, graciously volunteered to take photos of the party. As a result, Summer has some beautiful shots to remember the day with. Had it been up to one of the bridesmaids or moms to do this, there is no way it would have happened, what with all of the running around and making sure the party was going smoothly. In fact, most of the photos you’ve seen over the past week were taken by Christina! Thanks Christina- you’re the best and you did a GREAT job!

TIP #15: Make sure you eat! Of course, I saved the one about food for last. 🙂 This one does not seem all that important in the frenzy of things, but you are no use to anyone if you go all day without eating and start to feel weak/dizzy/sick because of it. Just remember- you want to enjoy the shower too! And after the shower comes CLEAN UP, so you’ll need to save some energy for the final push.

Well, friends, NOW we have reached the end of party week. Thanks for joining us in celebrating Summer and Beau as they enter the final stretch of wedding planning! Love you guys and wish you the best! Remember- happiness, love, and Michael Jackson. 🙂

Peace out, everybody- have a great weekend.