My Best Advice…

Weddings are fun, but crazy. There is a lot that goes into them and each is its own monster of preparation, details, decoration, food, music, and organization. I’ve been asked by a lot of friends and family who are starting the process, knee-deep in the preparations, or nearing the big day what my best piece of advice is.I could say a lot about “what I would have done differently” or my “top ten tips for planning a wedding” (and those might turn into posts for another time… maybe next Wedding Week), but my biggest bit of advice is actually for the day of. The day when, ready or not, it all goes down.

Here it is, my one tip… what I think is the key to enjoying your wedding day as much as possible…

TAKE THE DAY SLOWLY.

This might seem cliche, but let me explain… You’ve spent ages preparing for the actual wedding day itself. “Ages” could be different for each person- years, months, a few weeks perhaps? Regardless, to some extent, your wedding has taken up a significant portion of your mind space and energy as you get ready for it. You may have had a wonderful, easy-going time of preparation or a hurried and stress-filled go of things. What I learned is that on the day of… none of that matters.The preparation is done. The details are what they are. The weather will be what it will be. The day is here and it is up to you how you let it play out. 

I had heard over and over again from people about how fast your wedding day flies by. How it’s a total blur of people, festivities, and emotions. How it feels like it starts and ends within moments and that most people have trouble remembering the day because it all happened so fast.

I took this to heart and made a game plan way ahead of time to do everything in my power to not let this happen. I didn’t want the months and countless hours of preparing to end in an event that I couldn’t even remember after the fact. I made a promise to myself that I would do everything it took to step back on our wedding day and purposefully watch it all unfold. To enjoy it.

I forced the day into slow motion. The morning of, I made a huge effort NOT to rush around. I took great care to really take in all that was happening. I spent time noticing the little details. Like how the early morning sun looked on the water and how the grass was wet with the morning dew. And as each person came and went (we had friends and family members coming through the house we were getting ready in all morning), I made a point to register their faces in my mind so I could later remember who had shared that special morning with me. I took a walk up to the tent, just to see it all set up and take a mental snapshot of what it looked like. I listened closely to the songs that played over the speaker system and watched the celebration and dancing and singing happening around me.

Because I took it slowly, I have very special and specific memories of that morning.

When it came time for the ceremony, I forced my racing mind into a slower state of processing. As we pulled up to the church and the last few guests were making their way into the building, I craned to be able to see which of our loved ones and friends they were. Walking down the aisle, I remember tuning in to the sound of our good friends playing “Be Thou My Vision”… I think I started tearing up just hearing it. As the ceremony went on and we said our vows, I subsided my nerves and just let the words of the message wash over me. At one point, I remember looking out into the sea of faces looking back at us and being humbled by the many, many people that showed us how much they love and support us. As we worshipped, I stopped singing just so I could hear the choir of voices behind me.

I might not remember every word of the ceremony, but I don’t think I will ever forget the peace and pure joy I felt in those moments.

The reception came and if I’m being honest, this is the part I remember the least. And it’s because I let the day pick up speed again. I let some of the stress of things I couldn’t control occupy my mind. It was pouring down rain… and I was upset about it. The lights we had so carefully strung were only half working… and I was noticing. There are many moments about the reception that I don’t remember. I remember eating the food, but not tasting it. I remember dancing, but I don’t remember how long we danced or what my favorite song of the night was.

The minute I let time choose its own pace and the stressful moments take over is the minute I lost the ability to fully experience the night.

I would say the same for the Rehearsal Dinner… I remember it being a flurry of details as we practiced for the next day and stressful moments as I thought about all that still had to happen to get ready. I have snapshots of the night that I remember, but the clarity of those memories is very clouded.

Because I let the night rush by, I don’t have distinct and clear memories of the celebration.

All of this to say… it is up to you. On your wedding day, you have complete control over how fast the day flies by. In thinking back, I know exactly which parts of the day I forced into slow motion and which parts I let time take the reigns. I feel very fortunate because I knew the dangers going in and was able to prepare for it. Because of this, most of my memories of the day are actually mine and not what I’ve had to reconstruct by looking back at pictures or videos. I have had conversations with other people who didn’t prepare themselves for what can happen and are now frustrated that the majority of their memories are blurry.

I’m writing this because I was so thankful that someone warned me beforehand. It set me up to be prepared to fully enjoy our wedding day. Even then, I had to work very intentionally and in each moment to make it happen, but in the end, it was totally worth it. So if it’s you that has just gotten engaged, in the trenches of wedding planning, or winding up for the big day (or maybe you’re the parent or grandparent of someone getting married… the same thing still applies!), I hope this helps you as much as it did me.

TAKE IT SLOW AND ENJOY THE MOMENTS.